Grief Loss and Bereavement

Fudge

Originally posted on C.M. Rivers:
I came across the recipe in your old index card box, alphabetically misplaced between Fruitcake and Fritter Batter. “I miss you”, I said aloud as I measured out the sugar, butter, salt and evaporated milk. The cat looked at me expectantly, thinking – as he always does – that…

Hopi Prayer

This summer I hope to visit the place I scattered my mom’s ashes 26 years ago, near the foot of Neahkhanie Mountain on the Oregon coast. Standing in the wind above the sea, I will be sure to remember this Hopi Prayer. “Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep.Continue reading “Hopi Prayer”

Humble Warrior

For many long years, sleep did not come. Now it is here, a sanctuary, an unremembered temple of well-fed lions. Summer comes, undeniable as the needs of body and soul. We peel away her nightdress, and when she goes we go with her. There will still be times we do not feel supported by theContinue reading “Humble Warrior”

Yard Work

Let me tell you now how much I will miss you. Let me not spend another moment wandering the world with words unspoken. Let me not wait until you are gone, as I have waited with so many now lost from me, and narrowed my eyes as withered chances blew past my flushed cheeks, lifted by a suddenContinue reading “Yard Work”

Here’s Lookin’ At You, Kid

How striking, how strange, that I was to speak with you for the last time, in the middle of my own birthday party. I thought you were calling to wish me a happy birthday. How childish and small I felt, once I realized – as if I had been struck by lightning or a god-likeContinue reading “Here’s Lookin’ At You, Kid”

Towards The Fire

When things unravel with such fury, we conclude that something should be held responsible. We look for a place to lay our blame, though the source of our pain often has the power to be a catalyst for growth, a facilitator of movement in stagnant waters. If we can un-stick ourselves from the quicksand ofContinue reading “Towards The Fire”

A Note On “Awakenings”

My previous post, Awakenings, was written in reflection of my step-dad’s recent passing due to pancreatic cancer. Paul Hout was a great man. Throughout my childhood, he and my mom had a tumultuous on-and-off relationship, and were married for a brief time. In those days, Paul had some serious anger management issues, but he neverContinue reading “A Note On “Awakenings””