Turning ourselves inside out takes courage, and a willingness to accept ourselves as we are without blurring the lines of what-is with the stories we tell ourselves. Transformation is difficult because what the ego labels as “truth” in any given moment is subject to change.
The mind has a way of taking you down whatever road it finds most comfortable – in other words, whatever mirror reflects the ego’s current beliefs, that’s the mirror it looks at. The ego must surround itself with those reflections in order to strengthen and qualify its current version of the truth, its version of what is real. It’s as if the mind picks up a handful of – well, whatever it can get hold of – and calls it “the truth”, labels it “the world”, classifies it as “the way things are”.
Yet it seems that truth is highly subjective. One person’s truth might contain grains of another person’s truth, or fragments of a larger truth, or be shared among large groups of people. But any one person’s individual version of truth cannot help but be small, narrow and limited, because as individuals we cannot help relating all information back to ourselves somehow. We are unable to perceive things as anyone other than ourselves, and we cannot process information with any perception other our own. Not to mention the fact that our field of experience is a field of opposites because we live in a dualistic world.
No one’s truth has anything to do with anyone else’s, and yet we are all headed for the same ultimate, inevitable truth of death. As Prince sings in his song Controversy: “life is just a game, we’re all just the same”.
So, can we not be a ghost of ourselves? Because all the ghost does is forever haunt the same old unresolved house of all the thoughts, emotions, and beliefs we once had. Resolving emotions doesn’t mean abandoning the house, though – it means repairing it before you move out, fixing it up better than it was, and then leaving it behind like an insect larva shedding its exoskeleton so it can grow and assume a new form.
To loosen our grip on what we feel so certain is the truth would be to allow ourselves to change, to become “unstuck”, to actually go ahead and love the hardest person there is to love: ourselves. And instead of playing it safe and always only being one version of ourselves, we may as well be all of it: our whole self, every part that’s ever been, and every part still to be discovered. Could it be possible to make contact with the deepest parts of ourselves?
It’s a scary prospect, a stone our controlling ego would rather leave unturned. We may not meet the world’s approval of what we find there. We may be judged, disliked, dropped like a bad habit, even hated by those who take the easy path of judgment rather than the much more difficult path of understanding. Why take ourselves to an uncomfortable – painful, even – place, and try to stay there? The mind would much rather lounge in the warm glow of synesthesia – a stimulating confusion of the senses – than to broaden its understanding of itself.
Yet it is possible to open more fully. Go on now. Shine a light in the darkest corners.